Belonging #2 Read online

  It was a lie.

  A lie used to make his wife jealous.

  He took my virginity to prove a point. I should hate him, and as much as I try, it never ended up that way.

  I took a shot of tequila from the bar. Cassie edged me on. He stood up as I approached his table. He said he was scared at the time, because he thought I was going to punch him and his friends for being too loud. Instead, I grabbed his shirt and kissed him.

  Yep, I—shy, frigid Debbie—became a man-eater overnight.

  After I did it, I ran to the bathroom and screamed and cried out in excitement. When I returned, he was gone. He thought I did that on a regular basis and vowed never to go back to the student bar again. After the first couple of nights, I was completely embarrassed. I stopped wearing my contacts and letting my hair out. I put it back in its safe ponytail and I wore my glasses to disguise myself.

  Cassie tracked him down; she knows everyone and anyone at uni. Also, they were in the same economics class. She told him about me being brave that night and not having a habit of going and kissing every student in the bar. Also, she mentioned the fact I was totally embarrassed, and if he came back to the bar, the best thing to do would be to simply ask me out. She confirmed it by saying, “No one kisses back like that unless they’re interested!” She saw the way he enjoyed my kiss—holding onto me, caressing my hair, encouraging our tongues to explore further.

  With those words, he did just that. Eighteen months ago, he came back to the bar and didn’t even bother ordering a drink. He turned me around and kissed me. Afterwards, he told me it was the most passionate kiss he had in a long time, and asked if I’d mind doing that on a regular basis if we went on a date.

  How could a girl refuse?

  Here we are, swaying and enjoying the music, the settings and most of all, each other, when his hand slides down to my arse and pinches it. I’m loving the fact he enjoys my body. Since I’ve been here, I go to the gym regularly and I’ve toned up. Everyone will be shocked to see me when I get back home. I’ve been looking after myself in so many ways. It has helped so much with positive thinking.

  His hand goes from pinching to playing with the suspenders, probably trying to figure out how to take them off. I continue to let him take control as we sway to the music. Ah, at last, he’s figured it out. I’m glad; I was getting a bit frustrated with his constant fondling with it.

  I lift up my arms as he starts to take the bodice over my head. As if he read my mind, he cups my back and lays me in the middle of the rug. I have nothing on but my heels, lying naked on his rug with my eyes shut tight. If I open them, I may be tempted to take control and start stripping him. Or even worse start thinking about Roy and comparing them. This man has to get off my mind. No, matter what he always manages to slip back in. Kevin has to please me. He has to wash away all my fears that we’re not compatible. We are. He is what I need. Roy is just a baddie boy billionaire who I want.

  I lay alone for a few seconds, and then I feel a bit chilly. No, it’s not the room temperature. He’s holding something cold, possibly ice. He starts using it to circle my nipple, using his tongue to lick it after he disperses it. “Hmm, that tastes nice. Do you want some?”

  I nod, so he uses it around the perimeter of my lips. I lick them, tasting my strawberry lip gloss. Someone went to a lot of trouble tonight too. I can’t believe it. It makes me feel so special. He keeps circulating my lips and then my neck. Each time, he sucks my bottom lip between his gently. He traces it down my arm and into the palm of my hand, and uses his tongue to lick it.

  Everything feels so sensual, like we’re connecting, and I relax and start to enjoy the pleasures he’s providing me. Only me. I’m so lucky to have found such a loyal and dedicated boyfriend. “Oh my,” I sigh as he takes things to the next level, putting another piece of ice in-between my legs. He rhythmically slides it up and down, making sure not to go into my pussy, but against my outer lips as I open my legs wider to encourage him. He slowly moves it around in little circles, and then licks or sucks my flesh.

  I start to whimper as he gets closer and closer to my clit. I can feel my wetness commencing as I slowly shift my legs and groan to show my enjoyment.

  Shit, is that his tongue?

  We’ve never…I mean, we’ve talked about it a couple of times, but have never done oral sex.

  He’s using the ice around my clit and I cry out. He’s taking me places I’ve never been before. I can feel my pussy walls crying out for him to come deeper inside me as the muscles start to tense and relax rapidly. Has he been reading sex books? Where did he learn all these things? All the time we’ve been together, we’ve never done these things.

  He said he didn’t believe in oral sex. I was fine with that. I had only experienced it with one man, and I wasn’t sure if I would ever trust another again to even think about letting him know every inch of my body. That’s the difference between oral sex and normal sex—the person explores you, like Kevin is now. He’s finding out exactly what will make me orgasm by flicking his tongue continuously along my clit.

  I can’t resist and use my hands to go through his hair. I’m so close to the edge; I can’t hold it in any longer. My pussy clenches for him. I love what he’s doing and can’t get enough until I start to shake and reassure him he’s taking my orgasm to a level I’ve never reached. “That felt so good. Shit, I came so hard!”

  It feels like the beginning of a new relationship. I want more. I need to please him too. Like a cat in heat, I turn him over and release his jeans. Hell, he’s still got all his clothes on. I want to suck that cock so badly. I lap it like my life depends on it. I want my mouth to do what his tongue just did to me. I turn and put my fat arse in his face so he can lick me like he did only a few moments ago.

  I wrap my hand around his cock and pump it hard then soft, each time resting my mouth. His cock’s too big for me to keep my mouth around it for long. The more he flicks his tongue in me, the hornier I become, so I stop using my hand and only use my mouth. One hand teases his balls and the other holds him up so I can suck him like a lollipop. I won’t stop until his cum shoots into my mouth. I can’t wait to taste his saltiness.

  Cum for me, baby.

  I enjoy the way his hands grab hold of my butt and pushes it up and down. I arch my back, causing my tits to bounce up and down on his legs. I carry on enveloping his cock with my mouth. He seems to like that, so I stroke it as he continues to guide my lower half. Eventually, I sit down on his face. I want him to eat me. He needs to taste every part of my cunt. He sucks and licks my wet pussy like he’s dying of thirst.

  “That’s right, baby. You suck it out of me. I’m going to make you cum in my mouth. Keep doing what you’re doing.”

  I stop as I realise I’m being selfish and only satisfying my needs, so as I tremble on top of his mouth, I start to work hard on his dick. I’m going to suck him like a Hoover and make sure his cum goes straight down my throat.

  I start to pull and rub his balls. The louder he groans, the harder and faster I pull on his dick. I want him to come. I’m panicking; the more he’s moaning, the closer I think he is, but nothing’s happening.

  Shit, I’m not satisfying him!

  I start to suck more, harder and faster, until like a bolt of lightning, it shoots into my mouth. I’m fucking loving this. I made my man come inside of me. Never in my wildest dreams would I have even wanted such a thing. Kevin is good for me. He’s bringing me out of my shell, getting me to explore new horizons. I collapse to the side of him as I realise things are going to change between us. I sigh as I think about how long it has taken me to open the door. Roy closed it and Kevin has made me see things clearer.

  Both of us on opposite ends of the rug, we shake with laughter about our experiences during the night like new lovers sharing their sexual encounters for the first time. I sit on top of him, and without a word or warning, his flaccid dick starts to get hard. He wants to go inside me and finish off one more time.

 
I’ve got no reservation about it. I’m on the pill, have been for months. I know we’re safe, safe to fuck him, safe for him to come inside me, safe to spend the rest of the night exploring each other.

  And we do, over and over again.

  Chapter Six

  Wow, Debbie, where has all this sexual energy come from?

  I think his dick is going to drop off. I just keep commanding more and more. Sure, my pussy hurts and the walls are very, very sore, but the ache inside me wants him all over again.

  I jump on top of him, opening my pussy lips so they start rubbing against him with his limp dick between them. He’s trying to push me away, but the more I do it, the more he becomes erect. Then, there’s a knock on the door. I continue to thrust my hips round and round, while Kevin becomes harder and harder.

  I call out to the person to come in the room. It’s Roy in a dark blue suit. He looks like I remember, stunning and dashing as always, and he asks, “Can I join you?”

  I wink at him, and then he comes over and starts sucking on my breasts, like it was only yesterday he and I were together. He licks them and sucks on them, then pulls down his pants and drags me off Kevin to fuck me against the wall.

  “You like it hard, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Say it louder. I can’t hear you”

  “Yes,” I cry out.

  “Louder!”

  “YES!” I scream, throwing my arms in the air, giving myself completely over to him. Kevin is now standing by us, asking what we’re doing. Roy is assuring him when he’s finished with me he can have me back. Kevin stands in the corner like a little boy who’s been told off and watches Roy fuck me, banging me against the wall.

  I don’t pity him; after all, I’m with the great, sophisticated Roy Sparks. How can I feel sorry for Kevin when he thought he could compete? I’m now shaking from coming, feeling shockwaves as I climax.

  Then, I hear Kevin shout out, “Who is Roy?”

  “Who the fuck is Roy?” he repeated even louder.

  I gasp as I wake up in a sweat. Shit, I’m dreaming…and about the wrong man, while I’m in the right man’s bed. What has gotten into me lately? I can’t speak to answer the question he’s asked me. Why am I dreaming about Roy after the amazing time I had with Kevin last night? We really connected, and now I’m messing it up. I’m confused and annoyed at the same time. After the wonderful time we had last night, I’m spoiling it once again. Once again, I’ve let him down.

  I’m perplexed as I try to think of ways to solve the complete disaster. The more I think about ways to resolve the situation, the same thing keeps springing to my mind. Why do I have Roy Sparks in my mind after all this time?

  It’s early morning. I can see the sun shining through the curtains. I grab my things, dress quickly with Kevin looking deflated and I avoid eye contact, because I know if I look at him, I will end up crying, or even worse, he will start asking more questions.

  I went to my room, took a shower and headed straight to the bar. Shoot, one already. Wonder what time we fell asleep last night…or the early hours of this morning, rather. I don’t even bother checking if Michelle is in. I just grab my bag and head to the bar.

  As soon as I get there, Cassie is on my case, mainly because I’m always late for my shift, not early, especially hours early. It’s obvious I’m avoiding someone, and she’s smart enough to know it’s most likely Kevin.

  “What happened?”

  “Okay, so we had the best sex ever last night. Kevin went to all this trouble; his room had candles—”

  She starts to shake her head, interrupting, “Do you know how long it’s been since I last had sex? Cut to the chase. Why do you look like a bat that’s flown out of hell?”

  I sigh, as she’s the only one who knows the truth about Roy. One night after we closed up, we were talking about our love lives, and well…mine was non-existent at the time. I told her everything after a couple of shots of tequila. Cassie’s so easy to talk to, and I found myself confessing my sins to her. She told me back then that I had been taken advantage of, and I should learn from it and move on. I thought I had, but if that’s the case, then why am I thinking of him?

  “I had a dream about Roy.”

  “And?” she asks, confused. I need to explain to her what the dream was about, then she will understand it better. I just have trouble getting the words out, because I’m so embarrassed.

  “It was a sexual dream. Apparently, I was calling out Roy’s name!” I cover my face with my hands in shame.

  “Oh…” she trails off as she looks at me with confusion. “Have you been seeing him again?”

  “Course not.”

  “So, since three years ago…why call his name now?”

  Good question. “Maybe it’s the business with Mrs Sparks’ death. Maybe it’s brought back memories.”

  “Maybe.” She shrugs, and then we start to attend to thirsty students demanding our attention at the bar. I’m ashamed and feel dirty to a certain degree. If I had stayed in my room, then Kevin would probably have followed me there, asking more questions. The best thing to do is start work a bit early. Five hours early. If he knew I’m at work, he would leave me for a while, but not forever.

  Am I missing Roy?

  None of it makes any sense. It just makes me felt dirty. All those memories flooding back to me of the intimate time we spent together—whenever they used to come into my mind, I could shut them out by thinking about the way he treated me. Hurt me. Used me. Abandoned me.

  “He was married,” Cassie says as she sits, looking at me with a puzzled look on her face. Her chubby ass cheeks in her skin tight jeans had waddled across the bar as the students left. It turns quiet again.

  “You need to face whatever it is that is eating you up inside. It could be the wicked witch of the south that is haunting you. Who knows? You need to either tell Kevin the truth, or figure something out soon. For all you know, Kevin could be thinking the only reason you went all Flashdance on him last night was because of Roy.”

  Maybe that was the reason. After all, after eighteen months, I’ve never felt the passion I did last night. It was all pouring out of me. I need to have a bite to eat and a drink. That always helps relax me and gets my mind into focus.

  I grab a sandwich, and while I eat, I pray it’ll work. I needed to make up with Kevin. I just can’t figure out how.

  He walks in as I’m finishing my sandwich, and my heart sinks. Shit, I’m not prepared to have this talk yet. “So, you came to work early?” he asks as he looks down. I don’t want to look him in the eye. I’ve got guilt written all over my face. “Can we talk, outside?”

  Cassie motions for us to go out. I just can’t bear to look him in the face at the moment. I nod and reluctantly move to stand by the doors. I hope there are people around so he’ll decide this is a bad idea.

  As the doors open, I see it’s pretty quiet. Some students are getting ready to party tonight. Other students have left because they want to go home, back to their mum’s home cooking or familiar surroundings. Being away from home is tough on some students, while others relish in it. Others go on holiday after such a long year at uni. Everyone’s had enough by the end of June..

  “Are you going to speak, or even look at me?” he asks as I fold my arms and turn my back to him. He slowly turns me around, so I have no choice but to look into his eyes. I want to die! “Who’s Roy? Is he your neighbour?”

  I nod. He’s not so much the neighbour, but the one I lost my virginity to. If I confess, then he will think I’m a liar and want nothing to do with me. I can’t have that; I don’t want it.

  “The one I lost my virginity to,” I mumble.

  He lifts me so we’re on the same level. Normally, I would put my arms around him. Today, I feel so cheap. “So, why run out of the room? Why not explain? I shouldn’t have gotten angry. I’m sorry.”

  “You scared me,” I say as I look up into his eyes for the first time and realised he’s just as upse
t as I am. “I thought you were thinking I’m a slut.”

  “You had me going. You were in heat last night.” He laughs as he kisses me on the lips.

  God, I fancy him so much and don’t want to lose him. “Sorry,” I whisper, but he thinks it’s for running out. It’s actually for dreaming about Roy.

  “Sorry too.” He kisses me again and I melt.

  “Friends?” I ask as I wrap my arms around his neck.

  “So, much more than friends.” He laughs again as he drops me to the ground. “I’m going to sleep. You’re working, right? You didn’t come here to avoid me, did you?”

  “You know I did, but I’ll see you later,” I chirp as I head back into the bar. I stop and run back to him to give him another kiss. The smell of mint has me licking my lips. “Nice, toothpaste,” I say as I rush back to the bar.

  He laughs and says, “Not as nice as the egg and tomato sandwich you must’ve just eaten.”

  True, so true.

  Chapter Seven

  “Mum?”

  “Hello, love.”

  I stop and catch my breath after her voice makes me jump out of my skin and out of the bar. Is my mum really calling me, or is it one of my aunts who sounds like my mum?

  “Mum?”

  “Yes, dear, it’s been a while. I was just calling—”

  “It’s nice to hear your voice,” I interrupt with enthusiasm. “It’s been such a long time. Do you know I’ve passed and your baby girl is a graduate?” I have the biggest smile on my face and feel like a little kid.

  “Yes, but you’ll be coming back here? You won’t stay in Oxford? I heard you’ve got yourself a boyfriend and he’s really nice.”

  “Yes, Mum. This is my last day working, so we’re going to a big party tonight, and then tomorrow morning I’m coming with Kevin. You’ll like him. You really will.” I nod enthusiastically, even though I know she can’t see me. “Mum, I’ll be seeing you tomorrow. Okay?”